31 Days to a Happy Husband by Arlene Pellicane

Author:Arlene Pellicane
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780736946339
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers, Inc.

Day 17

From Sunday School to the Locker Room

A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

PROVERBS 5:19

Men talk to each other about sex. They made jokes about it in the junior-high locker room and it’s still the hot topic of conversation today. Women, especially Christian women, don’t chat about sex. We talk about kids, mothers-in-law, recipes, clothes, and feelings. I can count on one hand the conversations I’ve had in the last decade with friends about sex. I know that may not be true of other women, but men generally talk about sex a whole lot more than women do.

In his men’s Bible study, my friend Steven asked, “Who has masturbated?” Considering that these men were ushers, deacons, and leaders in the church who had been married thirty plus years, he thought it would be zero. Turns out five out of the six men said they masturbated. These are married men active in church life, and they are struggling to have their sexual needs met.

Masturbation, as you can imagine, is a massively taboo subject in the church. It’s not talked about, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. On the contrary, David Clarke, who counsels many Christian couples, says it’s prevalent.

Ideally, you save yourselves for when you can be together. But there are times when you are thinking about your wife that masturbation can be appropriate and all right. That can be the exception. What we want is sexual intimacy every three or four days. Fluids and semen build up and they need to go somewhere. Women are horrified by it because they think it’s so dirty and nasty, but it doesn’t have to be. Unfortunately if masturbation becomes a real habit, sooner or later Satan is going to drag you away from thinking about your wife to thinking about someone else. He will not miss that chance so we don’t want to go there.19

You may be thinking, My husband doesn’t struggle with masturbation or sexual temptation. He’s the exception. Dr. Clarke responds,

If you say you don’t struggle with temptation sexually as a man, you are a liar. Or you are the most excellent Christian we have ever produced. But I don’t believe that. I go with the liar. Look at the culture—sexual temptation is everywhere. He’s forced to deal with it, which makes your sexual relationship all the more important. The sexual relationship is by God’s design the way we fight temptation. So if we don’t have a healthy sex life, the man is doomed. He has to deal with it himself, that’s true. But man alive, help us out.20

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